You don’t love me anymore!

It was past 11pm and T was still awake. She asked for warm milk.

T: the milk is hot!
Me: *open the cup lid and put it under the ceiling fan*
(Few minutes later…)
Me: *take a sip* OK, it’s not hot anymore.
T: It’s still hot!
Me: can you at least try the milk? It’s not hot. I just drank some.
(Mental marathon of insisting that the milk was still hot after 10 more minutes and now it was almost midnight)
T: Whee! You don’t love me anymore!
Me: I’m sorry I yelled at you. I am very tired and I got upset. I still love you. You see? Sometimes you get upset at me too. But it doesn’t mean you don’t love me.
T: *stop crying* but this is a one side thing. Only parents can stop loving when they yell. Kids cannot stop loving when they yell.

(ok, kiddo, you’re kind of right)

Published by pandamotherly

I am Dr. Esther HioTong Castillo. I am Panda Mom. I'm a biracial sociologist mama with a 4 year-old daughter. Four years ago, my complicated birth and the sea-change in my career and family had thrown me into the downward spiral of depression and anxiety. Now, I'm sharing my story and writing my way to health and wellness at the intersection of trauma, intergenerational trauma, family, and parenting.

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